


he (tried to) walk away

by Octoberrose11



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012 mention, AU, BDSM, Daddy Kink, ENJOY THIS BABE, Edging, M/M, SO, SORRY IM A HORRIBLE PERSON, Spanking, Temperature Play, Uhm, also happy late birthday, and also horrible at tags holy fuck, and dan gives 100 percent consent, and dan has a safe word, and phil gets mad, daddy!Phil, dan has rules he has to follow, dan self punishes, dom!Phil, god save my soul, im going to hell, im super gay and i love phan, just know that going in, like a little bit of angst??, maybe???, ngl this is like 99 percent porn, they're like in a 24/7 D/s relationship without all the 24/7 dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:22:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9192572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octoberrose11/pseuds/Octoberrose11
Summary: this is a fic for mayra because im trash and i love her love for daddy!Phil





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> happy late, late, late birthday to Mayra (@jesybabe on tumblr) 
> 
> I had this finished on Friday but real life shit happened (that I won't go into here) and was going to post it yesterday but like
> 
> it stormed like the end of the world was happening??? and we lost power??? and my dumb ass didn't save the fic when I finished it (thank god my other four fics saved or we wouldn't be here reading this mess right now, I'd be on the floor crying. 26k in lost fic is no joke y'all)
> 
> also chapter two should be up Friday cause I'm off that day whoooo baby
> 
> aNYWays enough ranting on to the fic!

The thing is, their fans (also known as the ‘phandom’ in certain circles on the internet) liked to make references to 2012. A lot. Which is fine, you know, because they’re fans and Dan understands the obsession that comes with loving something or something, look at his extensive knowledge of Phil if you need examples, but sometimes. 

But the thing is...

He’s not exactly sure how to put the sentence, with the thoughts that are completely racing through his head, each faster then the last, not able to catch any of them to actually put them into words or emotions. 

But the thing is....

2012 still really fucks him up. 

Sure he’ll make jokes about it, and sure maybe he’ll try to laugh it off but there’s moments like now when he sees a tweet talking about how happy 2016 has been such a gay year compared to 2012 in phan terms and something inside of him breaks. It breaks and it shatters and it takes him hours, days, weeks to get back to normal. For him to stop feeling like shit. 

It’s been almost nine hours since he saw the fucking tweet and here he is, hiding from Phil in what is the guest room, curled up in his closet blanket wrapped as tight around himself as he can get it. 

When he first saw the tweet he had casually stood up from the couch and pressed a kiss to Phil’s hair, making some vague excuse about not feeling well and how he was going to go lay down in the guest room so if he was contagious Phil wouldn’t catch what he had. Then he slowly closed the guest bedroom door, turned off his phone and laid on the floor for as long as he could stand. 

About four hours ago he got up and started pacing. 

About two hours ago he had stopped pacing, wrapped himself tightly in a blanket and had hid himself away in the closet. 

He’s self comforting. He’s self punishing. 

He knows he’s doing it and he knows he’s breaking Phil’s biggest rule for him and that makes him feel like shit on top of the 2012 tweet and holy fuck why can’t he breath? He wraps a hand around his throat, trying to pull away whatever is strangling him but his hand comes up empty. 

He hears Phil walking down the hall and pushes himself closer against the closet wall, trying to make himself as small as possible. 

“Dan? Dan, you’ve been in there for a long time is everything okay?” Phil waited a beat for an answer before sighing. “I made you dinner, you want to come eat with me?” More silence. “Okay this is getting ridiculous I’m coming in.” He pushes the door open, half way expecting to find Dan asleep in bed but still not terribly suprised when he instead finds the room empty. 

“I know you’re in here, love, why don’t you come out and tell me what’s wrong, huh?” 

There’s a small sniffle from the closet before one of the doors is pushed open, though Dan himself doesn’t come out. 

“You going to join me?” Two knocks come and Phil sighs before walking over and sitting down in front of the open doors. “We’re going to do this the hard way then?” Silence again. “Okay, that’s fine, how about I talk to you instead? You can come out whenever you feel like it, then we can do whatever it takes to make you feel better.” 

Phil leans foreword, still not going into the closet, but moving so he might be in Dan’s eyesight. “Did I ever tell you how happy I am with everything that’s gone on the last couple of years? You’ve made the last eight years of my life the happiest I’ve ever been.” He takes a deep breath, smiling even as he shakes his head. “Even though I thought you’d say yes when I asked you to marry me there was still a little doubt that you’d say no.”

He shrugs. “I know that we’ve been together forever and that we’ve had our up and downs and that we’re stronger as a couple now then we’ve ever been before but-”

Dan’s left hand slips out the doors, and it’s shaking. “Did I ever apologize for 2012?” He asks softly, and his voice is shaking too. He sounds so unlike his usual self, more like when he’s dropped unexpectedly, that Phil has to pause a moment, even as Dan continues. “Because I am. I am really sorry.”

“Is that what all of this has been about?” 

A beat and then, “I don’t know how you can stand to look at me, you know? Because I treated you like such shit and sometimes I remember and I hate myself. If anyone else had treated you like I did I would kill them in a heartbeat but I can’t kill me, because that would kill you. And I don’t deserve happiness, I took so much happiness away from you in 2012 and I made you suffer because I was stupid and selfish.”

“Dan, you were scared. What, you think I wasn’t? I wasn’t exactly nice to you then either.”

“Yeah,” his voice comes out muffled like he was hiding his face in a sweater or something, “but you didn’t threaten to leave. You didn’t throw things at me when things didn’t go your way.”

“Alright that’s enough!” Phil snaps, “Dan come out here right this moment!” 

His voice has changed, more dom Phil then every day Phil, so Dan slowly slides his way out of the closet, arms wrapped tight around himself in an attempt at self comfort. Phil steps into Dan’s space and took a tight hold of Dan’s chin, forcing direct eye contact. It takes all of Dan’s power not to pull away, to squirm out of Phil’s hold.

“What’s your number one rule, Dan?” Phil asks, his face tight. 

“Only you’re allowed to punish me. I need to come to you if I feel guilty about something.” It’s soft, but not mumbled, Dan not wanting to risk increasing his punishment. 

“And instead of coming to me you what? Decided to lock yourself in here and beat yourself up for stuff that happened over four years ago? Dan.” He shakes his head. “I don’t even know what to do with you right now.” 

Dan shifts his weight, uncomfortable with the way Phil is still holding his chin and with the way he’s staring at him unblinkingly. He still wants to pull away, but this time so he could wipe the angry look on Phil’s face away. 

“Go to the bedroom. Strip. Be in the corner when I come in, and make sure you’re silent. You have five minutes.” 

Dan stands and blinks at him for a moment before stepping back, his chest doing the familiar lurch that comes with play. 

“Four minutes, Dan.” Phil smacks his ass as he brushes past him, smirking on his way out of the room. “I’m going to go get some things from the kitchen, you won’t like what happens if you’re not ready like I said.” 

Dan moves into action and doesn’t look back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl this is all porn. 
> 
> but like porn with feelings???? fluff smut? Idk

When Phil entered the bedroom four and a half minutes later he found Dan kneeling beside the bed, his collar on the bed side table. He had his eyes closed, even as he sat, hands wrapped around his wrists, back and shoulders straight. Phil has to pause a moment to admire how hot his fiance looks naked, and another moment to smile to himself because Dan looks sweetly at peace with himself, in this moment, and Phil hates to ruin it. He knows the inner peace Dan may have found won’t last long, nothing will, not like the peace he can bring them both will. 

“How you feeling, baby?” He asks him softly, mostly to alert Dan to his presence then anything else, walking around behind him to place the things from the kitchen on the bed. Dan startles a little, showing just how deep into his own head he really was. “Oh you’re feeling it tonight aren’t you love?” Phil sits down on the bed behind him and puts a gentle hand on Dan’s head. “You’re being such a good boy for me, aren’t you? But I asked you to be standing in the corner.”

Dan’s stance breaks, turning his head to look at Phil with wide panic filled eyes. He bites his lip, his eyes searching and he looks close to tears. There’s nothing in the world he hates more then letting Phil down. 

“It’s okay, Dan, I’m not mad, but you need to be punished for not listening don’t you?” He phrases it gently, knowing how little it will take to get Dan to drop, and he knows how horribly it will go if Dan drops and isn’t expecting it. 

Hesitating for a moment, Dan nods, squirms before he stops and looking up at Phil again for guidance. Phil feels his heart clench, his poor boy is so in need of some tough love. Phil reaches over for the collar and gently opens it, putting it around Dan’s neck, clasping it into place. He can see Dan take a deep breath, shoulders relaxing. 

“Alright then, over my lap. Good boy. I don’t expect you to count them, okay? Just tell me when you’ve had enough, can you do that?” Phil helps steady Dan as he wiggles around to get into position before putting a hand in the middle of his back to still him. 

“Yes, daddy.” His voice is softer, a little higher in pitch. Good. Maybe tonight isn’t going to turn out horrible after all. 

“Okay, I’m going to start now.” 

He takes a moment to gently rub Dan’s ass, giving them both a moment to relax before he slaps one hand down. Then again. And again. He keeps at it for about two minutes before he stops to rub, hands gentle again. Dan’s skin isn’t as red as he would like and Dan hasn’t said stop so he starts it up again. He doesn’t have a set number in his head, or a color he’d like to reach, but he cycles through twenty four on each cheek before he stops and starts rubbing again, then starts again. 

Eventually it becomes evident that Dan isn’t going to say stop, or daddy, or a safe word so Phil slows the spanking to a stop. Without asking there is no way of telling where Dan’s head is and he’d rather not break the fragile silence that is existing between then so with one hand still on Dan’s back, he reaches out and takes hold of the cup of ice he brought in from the kitchen. Inside it is a vibrator, freezing from the ice no doubt, and a tube of heating lube. He ignores the vibrator and lube for now, taking a hold of a couple pieces of ice and runs them on Dan’s hot skin, laughing softly as Dan jumps underneath the cold before he relaxes into it with a moan. 

“You’re being such a good boy for me, love.” He tells him softly, running a hand through his hair. “Think you can lay on the bed?” 

“Yes, daddy.” Dan struggles to get off his lap, but manages to crawl his way up to lay his head on the pillow, unashamed as he opens his legs as he hisses, trying to get the weight off his ass. 

“No baby, don’t do that.” Phil swats his thigh even as he stands up to start removing his own clothes. “I want you to play with yourself.”

“Daddy?” 

“It’s not that hard, Dan. I want you to get yourself hard for me. Then I want you to get to the point of almost coming and then I want you to stop. And then I want you to do it again. And again. Until I tell you to stop. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, daddy. But what if I-”

“You won’t,” Phil says confidently. 

“But I might, daddy!”

“You won’t Daniel, because if you do you won’t like what will happen after.” Phil pauses, and then turns to look at Dan. “Look, baby, if you manage not to come until I say you can Daddy will let you buy anything you want off of Amazon.”

“Anything?” Dan sits up, eyes wide with excitement. “And you can’t say no?”

“That’s right, and Daddy can’t say no. Now get to work, baby.” He nods to where Dan’s dick has gone mostly soft. “If you aren’t hard and masturbating when I turn back around I’m going to put you back over my lap.”

“Yes daddy.”

Phil shakes his head and pulls his underwear off before bending over to gather his clothes into his arms to put into his laundry basket. If he takes longer then usual then no one knows besides him. When he turns back around Dan is biting his lip, hands holding on tight to the bedding, hips jerking into the air. 

“So close already, baby?” 

Dan doesn’t even have it in him to glare at Phil, at Daddy, letting out a pleading whine instead. He takes a couple of deep breaths, hands tightening on the bedding as his chest shakes before he lets go and reaches for his dick again. 

“Doing so good baby,” Phil tells him softly, moving back to the bed. He sits down and opens Dan’s thighs wider. “You are going to keep doing that for daddy, aren’t you?” 

“Yes daddy.” 

“And if you need to stop you’ll tell daddy?” He laughs when Dan nods his head, beyond noises at the moment. “Good boy. Now daddy has a surprise for you.” Phil snaps the lube open and rubs it on his fingers, before pushing it between Dan’s ass cheeks, then pushes in. 

“Cold Daddy!” Dan protests, trying to squirm away. 

Phil pushes Dan down with a snort. “It won’t be for long,” he mutters under his breath, scissoring another finger in along with the first. 

“Hot!” 

“Is it?” Phil asks, with a smirk. “I thought you said it was cold, baby?” He tisks. “Maybe you don’t really know what’s going on down there, huh baby? Maybe daddy has you so wrecked you don’t know which way is up and which way is down.”

Dan shakes his head, his hand falling off of his dick again even as his hips shake, pushing back onto Phil’s hand and then away when the heat gets too much for him. 

“Daniel! Stay still.” Phil scolds, pushing a third finger in. “You have to stay still or daddy is going to spank you again and he won’t stop until you’re crying, do you understand me mister?” 

“Y- yes daddy.” Dan does his best to push his hips back onto the bed, gasping for breath and shaking a little. He’s still though, and that’s what Phil was looking for, honestly. 

Phil twists his fingers a couple more times then pulls them out, kindly ignoring the whine Dan lets out. He gets up and moves away from Dan, picking up a blindfold from the toy chest with a smile, and a pair of handcuffs. When he turns back around his smile widens, Dan has his hand on his dick again, his eyes closes and head tilted back in pleasure. 

 

“You’re always such a good boy,” Phil praises, giving him a rewarding rub on the top of his head. “I’m going to blindfold you now, and put you in a pair of handcuffs. Do you know what to say if you want out?”

“Yes,” Dan says. “Yes daddy.” 

“And you will use them.”

“Yes daddy.” 

“Good boy.” Phil places the handcuffs on Dan first, making sure they’re not too tight and that his arms are comfortable as they can be positioned behind his back. Dan wiggles a little before confirming that he can’t get free (Phil rewards him with a kiss on the nose for that). “I’m going to do the blindfold now, alright love? And I’m not going to leave the room while you have it on.” 

“Okay Daddy.”

Phil gently puts the blindfold, really make shift tights, around Dan’s face before tying them in a gentle knot behind his head, making sure not to snag any of Dan’s hair in it before he backs away. “Can you see anything?”

“No.” Dan shakes his head.

“Good.” Phil steps back a couple of more steps before tilting his head. “You really are pretty like this love, wish you could see yourself.” 

Dan whines. “Not pretty.” He denies. “Bad boy. Ugly.”

“What did I say about talking about yourself like that?” 

“Not to. Sorry daddy.” 

Phil sighs, making his steps as quiet as he can while moving around to the other side of the bed. He runs his hand up Dan’s foot, exactly where he’s the most ticklish and watches as he screams with laughter. “I was going to let you come, Dan.” He says, shaking his head. “I was going to give you a blow job right now and let you come and maybe let you fuck me after but I don’t think you deserve it now, do you?”

“N- no Daddy.” Dan is still giggling from Phil’s attack on his feet but manages to get himself mostly under control and still. 

“I guess I’m going to have to punish you some more love.” Phil’s smile widens, even though Dan can’t see it. “I’m going to punish you for real this time, love, and you are going to enjoy every single minute of it.”

****

Ten minutes later, with another round of self heating lube up Dan’s ass, he watches emotionlessly as Dan struggles against the still ice cold vibrator that Phil is fucking up Dan’s ass. Of course he may have also slipped two or three (or ten) ice cubes in first but that was to make the whole thing more enjoyable!

For him. 

Dan doesn’t seem to mind too much, except for the wiggling and slight whining he’s letting out it seems like he’s enjoying it. Might even get off on it even. 

“You don’t really think I’m going to let you come tonight after talking about yourself do you love?” Phil asks him innocently after a while. 

“Daddy? Daddy no! Daddy what are you doing?”

Phil tisks, Dan’s cock in his hand along side with a handful of ice. He can feel Dan start to soften. “Daddy is sorry he had to do this baby, but it’s the only way you’re going to learn to be nice to yourself isn’t it?”

Dan lets out a sniffle. “Y- yes daddy.”

“And I bet you aren’t going to be mean to yourself for a while are you?” 

“N- no daddy.” Dan lets a couple of tears run down his cheeks. 

“If you can be a good boy for daddy for the rest of the night he’ll let you come first thing in the morning,” Phil promises removing his hand, shaking off the melted ice. 

“First, first thing?” Dan asks. “And I get to order whatever I want from Amazon tomorrow?” 

Phil laughs. “Yeah, baby, first first thing. Even before Daddy has coffee.” 

“I can be a good boy.” Dan nods, doing his best to stretch out his cramping legs. 

“I know you can.” Phil says, pressing a kiss to the corner of Dan’s mouth. “Daddy’s going to remove the vibrator now, okay? And then he’s going to remove the handcuffs so you can stretch while he goes to turn the lights off and turn the desk lamp on, okay?” 

Dan nods, keeping still as Phil gently shuts off the vibrator even as he lets out a little hiss. He’s even quiet as Phil has him turn on his chest so he could remove the handcuffs without hurting him. Phil would be a little alarmed if he didn’t know this was how Dan always got at the end of their play. 

“I’m going to go turn the lights off now, okay baby? And then we can cuddle as long as you want before I remove the blindfold.” 

“Okay daddy.” 

Phil moves as fast as he can to shut the light off that he trips over his own feet, barely managing to catch himself from falling face first on the ground. He sheepishly looks around to make sure no one saw him (even though he knows Dan is still blindfolded and in his own little world) before making his way over at a slower pace. 

When he returns to the bed he finds Dan curled up with his pillow, in his typical little spoon position. Shaking his head Phil curls up along his back, on arm across his waist, the other in his hair. In a little while he’ll worry about bringing Dan back up, about how they really do need to put 2012 behind them once and for all, and how to keep Dan from working himself up so much. In a little while he’ll think about maybe ordering in some dinner and about what movie they should watch before they go to bed. 

But for now he’s going to enjoy his snuggly and quiet boy.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even know what my tumblr url is anymore i think it's like tommoandmalikpayne or something who knows (I just checked and yeah that's my url) so you can talk to me there or on twitter at leewithme


End file.
